Am I Getting Fat?

My wife keeps telling me I’m fat and everything, but the trouble with that is I don’t know if she’s really telling the truth or just joking, as she always had the habit of teasing me and stuff . It certainly makes me want to ask someone for a second opinion or something, as I myself don’t feel any fatter than I was last year, or for any other year for that matter.

I’m as sexy as sexy can be, I keep telling myself half-heartedly, though with some grain of truth into it, as sexiness I believe, is really just a state of mind of a person. And judging by the way I see myself deep inside, I’m the sexiest man alive so I don’t bother with anyone telling me otherwise. But it’s my wife we’re talking about here and I believe everything she says. Who else would I believe if not her?

So you can see where I’m at with regards to this little problem of mine, but I really don’t consider it as a problem, it’s just something that came up in the course of daily living. I don’t know, maybe I’m just bored to think anything about it as life in the shop has been fairly quiet this day with only a few customers coming by. Mike isn’t any help either as I can’t really talk to him even if he is just beside me, he is doing the taxes of the shop and I wouldn’t want to be a drag.

Maybe I should go into a diet of sorts and surprise my wife about it. Nah, she would eventually notice it as nothing really escapes her attention. It will only serve as additional fuel for her teasing me and I can imagine it clearly her teasing me with steaks and other foods that I particularly like, and then it would be hell on earth for me.

What would she say if she caught me eating low carb vegetables or fruits? It would also be really an obvious thing if I limit my eating in accordance to the 1000 calorie diet or other diet programs out there. South Beach, Atkins, Jenny Craig, Master Cleanse, Mediterranean, name it, she’ll know about it eventually as she really was also into them at one time or another. I can’t really hide it from her so I guess surprises are out of the equation.

What if I exercise my fats off and I’ll just make sure she’s not around when I do it, to save me from nasty comments and stuff. Nah, scratch that as I couldn’t really walk a mile if I wanted to, much less jog and do push-ups or whatever. So what am I really going to do?

I got it! My wife probably was only joking about me being fat and all. Maybe she was just being particularly mean about it to get me to do things and get back at me, silly her. That’s right, and I’m not really getting fat after all. I’ll just continue to believe that and I’ll be just alright. I’m sexy and I know it.

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